For the love of chocolate

The unnatural mother

I never saw myself as a mother. I was not sure what made me decide that I wanted to have children. I'm still not sure how that feeling comes about or how to even describe and explain it. One day I was looking at other mother's and thinking I want to do that. Is this what people describe as a maternal instinct kicking in? I can't really say that it was exactly the right moment to have a child either. I mean is there ever really a right time to have a child? If it was maternal instinct it never took what I was doing with my life into consideration. It kind of just shouted at me YOU WANT A BABY NOW! Also bearing in mind that it is not a simple oh I want a child in February so we have to have sex this day so I conceive on this day and give birth on this day. I remember very well the waiting game, getting a little bit more frustrated as each month passed me by. Then let's not forget that my wee man was a little impatient and decided he wanted to come 2 weeks early.

I don't think I was overly prepared for the birth even considering all the classes I attended. It took me ages to realise I was even in labour. High pain threshold apparently. Ha! I did not really have too many expectations and was quietly hoping for the best. You just know at some point it has to come out right? If you dwell too much on it you just think whatever happens it is possibly going to be quite painful. Our bodies technically know what they are supposed to do as well? Yet things can go wrong and sometimes apparently woman don't exactly get the support, empathy or even compassion they were expecting. I never thought I should feel lucky to have a quick and easy labor but listening to stories I feel I should.

Motherhood never came naturally to me. Quickly forgotten where the days I was lying about desperate for one...go figure. There are a hundred and one books around of how to care for your baby and most give different advice and they all claim to be right. I made a big mistake by actually reading some of them. Then you have mother's on different band wagons promoting their said cause. Breastfeeding opens up such heated debate in any social media and I'm afraid I was not a natural at that either. I found motherhood a lot of hard work and it took me a long time to find my own motherhood feet. I knew I loved my son and I was lucky to have a supportive husband who is THE best Dad. After a while I realised maybe that was all I needed. The one natural thing about being a mother that got me through and keeps getting me through till today and hopefully for tomorrow. Everyday though a new idea is popularised on how best to raise your child, make them smarter, make them leaders. I'm just proud when I make it through a day where my wee man has not watched television for the whole day and when we have fun together as a family with no arguments (ok, seriously who has days without an argument).

No one could have told me what it would be like. Now I listen and I do take advice but I know no one can really tell me how to be a mother. It comes from a place within me that I'm still not that sure about. I broke a lot of rules already that I was not planning to break at the start. I find the politics of motherhood scary at times and how quick people are to point, to blame. It's hard to debate about motherhood and not at some point find yourself on the wrong side or overly defensive. I chose to be a mum though and admittedly I love it and that really is all I can say. 

Project 365 Days 19-25

There some things that you just have to do every week that become part of the routine.

Day 19: This is the way we brush our teeth

Day 20: Drinking our juice

Day 21: Just because. Ice cream for dessert.

Day 22: The Dinosaur who came to tea. We are always surrounded by toys at meal times!

Day 23: Doing the business

Day 24: Breakfast.

Day 25: The new one. We have discovered the joys of muller corner yoghurts. Banana with the chocolate flakes are our favourite.

Painting with Stencils

His Two Loves

I should probably start with a disclaimer that my wee man's first love is chocolate! When I ask him what he wants for his birthday...a chocolate egg!

When my wee man woke up this morning I nipped into bed beside him and asked what we were going to do today? His answer "I want to go to the library." I'll be honest that is a proud mummy moment for me. It's great his love of books. He shows genuine excitement when he gets to the library and we sit and read through several books together. I'm not that bad at reading a good story I might add and try with voices and all.

On the way home we get an additional request "I want to play outside". It's funny but there are certain requests I actually feel bad in denying. So we nipped to the park on the way home.

 

It's mornings like these I want to really member and treasure. A perfect balance of educational fun. It puts the tiring and stressful days into perspective. It's the reasons why I only want to work part time so I can share these early days with my son. Taking part in his growing and learning is really important to me. It all happens so fast and there is no slowing it down.  

  

The age of comprehension

Here we are edging closer to the big number 3 and what a year it has been for my wee man. We have seen lots of changes with potty training, moving to a big bed, increased in number of words and speaking in two languages. The closer we get to the 3 the more subtle the changes and the more difficult to explain. It's like he absorbed all this stuff that I did not even realize was happening. Experienced mums will probably know what I am talking about. I guess it is probably written down in a child development handbook somewhere.

It's no longer about how many words he is using but how he is using them. We have proper conversations now with lots of what and how questions, thankfully I am still waiting on the why. He initiates the conversations as well and he is not just answering in a response. His imagination of course has also gone wild and he takes his toys on the most amazing adventures. It amuses me how difficult I find it at times to enter this imaginative world and it can sometimes feel tiring and hard work for me yet so simple and fun for him. He is starting to figure out friendships and wanting to play with others and not just beside them. His interest in new toys has grown such as puzzles and simple games and he is slowly trying to figure out his numbers and his letters.

With this his understanding of situations is better and that seems to make the tantrums a bit less as you can actually try to explain things to him now. Waiting is not as stressful as before. Of course you still can't always win a debate with an almost 3 year old and I am still trying to choose my battles wisely. I'll say 3 and he will say 4, I say yes and he says no.

The other day he explained it all quite perfectly himself. "Sono un bambino." "Sono un bambino molto bravo."

Project 365 Days 12 - 18

Day 12: Building blocks

Day 13: All the fingers, All the fingers, Where are you?

Day 14: Who is going to win?

Day 15: Daddy cuddles

Day 16: Catch the blueberry. There is a blueberry somewhere!

Day 17: Give a little whistle

Day 18: Romping with daddy

Can you tell we had daddy with us all week? He usually travels for work during the week and it's been great having him home. Can you tell I have switched my dial to Manual and TV? Not the best quality pictures but I'm working on it!

The Bike ride

We took the balance bike out for a spin. First time for the New Year. Just to our usual local park mind you but the first time where he spent the whole morning on the bike happy to "whizz" about the whole park. That meant going up some relatively steep hills and rather slowly making our way back down them again. With some things my wee man is not exactly the dare devil! At least though we both got some pretty good exercise and lots of fresh air.

 

Project 365 Days 5-11

Day 5: Potato peeler. Here is the wee man helping Nonna with lunch. The last day of our holiday and a good reflection on what our holiday was all about. 

Day 6: Always wanting his scissors to do some cutting.

Day 7: TV face

Day 8: Puzzle fun. We are slowly getting better at this activity and enjoying a lot more than usual.

Day 9: Slinky fun. My wee man loves getting a magazine to do the stickers and of course playing with the tat or should that be toys that come with it. This one has been a particular favourite.

Day 10: Homemade pizza!
Day 11: Sweet addiction. The wee man discovered the Italian sweet mandorlato and he loves it just as much as his mummy.