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Project 365 Days 82 - 88

Day 82: More daylight = extra park activities

Day 83: Flowers for mummy

Day 84: Chillaxing

Day 85: Proper cheeky monkey

Day 86: Library fun 

Day 87: New Heights

Day 88: Scribbling

Park bonanza

We are starting to enjoy the longer days. This week we have even seen some sunshine. All this has meant that trips to the park abound. After nursery there is still time to nip across the road to our local park. The wee man has become a proper monkey climbing over and up and swinging on everything he can. We have had afternoon rides on our bike and discovered a new park with friends in Stirling. It's been a busy outdoor week and we have felt like proper country kids.

 

Balance

It was not until having my wee man that this word gained so much weight, that it's definition eluded me...balance. Balancing all the different definitions of me. Balancing the time I could give myself, I could give him. In the beginning lets be honest as far as I was concerned I had to be there for him 24/7. Even when I had the opportunity for support I was never that far away, I just could not take that step back. Slowly though a little darkness settles and I realize that giving him all of me is not healthy for me and not so healthy for him either. Try as I might to hide things from my child he picks up on the subtlest of cues so a stressed out mum equals an unhappy child.

I slowly learnt to take those steps back and it did everyone a world of good. I also quickly realised though that spending time with my wee man was still very important to me and that was okay. I started talking about work life balance. It's so much more than that though. There will always be times when I will never question if my wee man needs me to be there.

I was surprised how hard I was on myself when I decided to give up work full time. It felt like a major life fail. Now I could never go back. Yet even working part time there are still working days when my wee man needs me. I don't have extra family support and admittedly I do find that kind of hard. This year has really thrown that word balance at me as I have tried to manage what seems to be sickness bug after chicken pox after sickness bug! It's a no brainer...my wee man always comes first. Thankfully I have a very understanding employer but Nonna was still on the first flight over from Italy when we discovered the wee man had chicken pox. 

Balance though is also about finding time for just me. Time for me and my hubby. I never imagined being able to feel not guilty about leaving my wee man for a few nights but I have and honestly it felt good. It felt good to know that I have raised my wee man to be confident without me and that he has such a good relationship with his nonni and grandparents to allow it. A day shopping just me while the wee man is with his daddy is so rejuvenating and necessary. There are multiple definitions of me and it's not fair to only wait till the wee man is in bed to allow me to express that. 

Like any balancing act I'm always swaying and admittedly the line is always thin. Thankfully though I am part of a small family that is always supportive of each other so hopefully we will never be tipped completely over the edge.