I made a rod for my own back

I work at a children's hospital which has a lot of rules about co sleeping. It's brought back a lot of memories about my early days with the Diva. I end up talking with colleagues about my own journey with co-sleeping. Something which admittedly still happens. Ha some nights I would go up to bed after I thought I had settled her into her own bed to find her settled in ours. I was constantly told when she was a baby I was making a rod for my own back...I guess this proves them right? Apparently I was spoiling her because it's a thing spoiling your baby with too much love?

With the wee man I put a lot of pressure on myself to follow all the 'rules'. There was no way he was sleeping in my bed. With the Diva I think I broke them all! I kept getting asked if I was an attachment parent then and was given all sorts of labels. For me it was just survival though as I was just THAT tired. It wasn't even just co sleeping. She hated the pram so she was pretty much always attached to me in the sling. Getting a break was hard as she didn't want anyone else except her mummy. Leaving her with the grandparents for Mummy and Daddy date nights was just not the done thing.

The irony though is that she has grown to be fiercely independent! She does most things on her own terms and if she is not ready to do something yet she will let you know. When she is ready though she doesn't do half measures! She is loud and confident in herself. When the day comes to an end though that's when she let's us know something is maybe not quite so right in her world. Most nights she sleeps in her own bed but there is still the occasional night it's just not happening or it just takes ages to settle her to bed. It's her though and if I go back I doubt I would change much.

Winning or taking part?

Getting back in the pool always brings back reminders of when I used to swim when I was younger. I loved swimming but I was definitely not made for competitive swimming. I especially remember in high school when I always came 4th in the inter house competitions on sports day. Worse when I did the inter school competitions! There you were made to swim everything if you were willing because every participant would gain their school a point. I vividly remember me embarrassingly swimming the backstroke just relieved when the race was over! Now though I am so glad that I am a relatively strong swimmer because in adulthood it's all about the exercise and the stress relief. Enjoying holidays by the sea and being able to support my kids in the water. 

The wee man now loves sports. Give him the opportunity and he will want to give it a go. At the minute his passions are tennis and rugby. He actually wants to be a professional tennis player when he is older and his inspiration is to be the next Nadal. I am not sure if he is good enough for that but that has never really been the incentive for us for him to learn any sport. It's always been for him to experience a wide range of opportunities, exercise, making friends. He's started to compete now and my introduction to competitive tennis has been an eye opener. I never realised the amount of pressure that could be put on a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds still only playing with an orange ball! Rugby is a team sport so it's not as intense as becoming competitive in tennis. The limelight is not solely on you

and they actually don't start keeping score yet. In tennis it’s just you out there with your opponent and not even a coach on the sideline. The responsibility is on them to keep score and call the ball out. Sometimes I secretly wish there was an umpire. I have seen some kids chucking rackets about, shouting and crying. I like to think Francesco knows the behaviour I expect of him. I would hate for him though to get so stressed about the losses that he decides to give up. I have been told that there is nothing wrong with him being competitive and I guess there are a lot life lessons to learn through it.

My only hope is that he will always enjoy playing tennis and continue to learn to play tennis well. Hopefully when he is older and can join his local tennis club wherever in the world he is he will be appreciative of having learnt to play well.

What time is it?

Well hello blog. Goodness it's been a while. So it's new year, new decade...same me. I found a challenge for 2020 that I can actually achieve and for a good cause too and it brought me here to memories of venting on this blog. I don't do New Year resolutions, I don't do fad diets or any kind of diet really. I have not given up alcohol or meat for the New Year. I have always loved swimming so when a friend sponsored someone to do a swim challenge I looked it up. Nothing like a bit of motivation to get me in the gym and use my membership so I don't feel guilty about wasting hundreds of pounds every month. 

I am doing Swim22 and will be swimming the equivalent of 22 miles in my local pool. It's the width of the English Channel. I will also be raising money for Diabetes UK. I am pretty excited about it now actually. Swimming is so much more than exercise and getting fit. It's amazing stress relief and actually a great space to clear my mind. So watch this space and if you fancy maybe even sponsor us.

https://swim22.diabetes.org.uk/pages/sabrina-1