Back to work shades of grey

So it's official, I will be a working mum in the next 3 weeks. I am now seriously experiencing back to work shades of grey. You see I am not really feeling blue or am I really feeling a red, orangey, yellow colour. I want to go back to work and for my sanity I probably need to as well.  Stay at home mums...I salute you! The thing is though I am great at saying I want some mummy time but when it's offered I immediately think of a reason why it's probably better if I stay with my son. At the minute I am only really comfortable leaving him when I know that he is tucked up safely in bed. Now I have to leave him for the WHOLE day. Yes I am not just going back to work part time either...full time 9 to 5. That is what I hope as well cause I have just got a position in social work so the likelihood of having to do overtime is very well likely! It does not help that for various reasons I have been out of work for a year. So I am not exactly going back to a job that I know everything about. This is my FIRST social work job....eek! Then this is the cherry on top...it's in a field of social work that I have NO experience in. At the minute I don't even have time to feel the guilt cause I am seriously feeling the nerves. 

I'm not feeling sad and I'm not feeling happy more like inbetween.