My journey started what now seems like a while ago but yet remains so fresh that I still take each step slowly and don't want to look too far ahead. I catch myself thinking sometimes that maybe I'm being a bit over confident, what if I write something positive and then it all goes down hill again. Anyway here goes.
I'm not sure at what point I decided that I needed to start looking for work again. We decided it was still important that my wee man continued at nursery and he was there for 3 days a week. I always managed to fill my days but it started getting a bit difficult to justify. Obviously financially we were losing out but we tried not to make that put any pressure on any decision that I made. I know I would have never gotten to that point without talking to someone. I had done counselling before though and the whole process of having to think it through myself and not just get the quick fix answer frustrated me. This time though I was in a really scary place and it bubbled up and spurted out and talking helped. It helped me through the muddle and to find some perspective. I never thought I could see any positive in what was happening but counselling helped me to see that I was not failing and giving up. I was struggling and needed a change and needed to move on and I was learning a whole lot about myself. It was okay to take the time to find myself again.
I'll never find the perfect me but I will settle for the positive. The healthier less negative me. I sometimes still feel overwhelmed and my initial instinct of panic hits me. The place where I am now is that I am able to catch myself before the fall. I know a bit more of what I want and a balance that can make me happy.
I love being a mum. I knew that going back to work had to be part time. I had to find a balance that suited me. The days I have with my wee man are very important to me. I have a job that is 3 days a week and 9 to 5 and I'm not bringing "the baggage" of work home with me.
So here I am not charging ahead but moving forward and hopefully being continuously positive.
really pleased to hear you're finding a balance and that there's no baggage to bring home. Lovely photos of you and your wee man!
ReplyDeleteLovely post, great to hear you're moving forward
ReplyDeleteLovely post Sabrina, it is always a big relief to find the balance that works for you and trying to keep the negatives at bay can always be a challenge. I know I have days when I have to almost take a step back from myself, if you know what I mean xxx
ReplyDeleteHi popped over after you commented on my post on #countrykids.
ReplyDeleteHaving children is hard. I had post-natal depression after my second son and it wasn't diagnosed for a year. Medication does help along with support from partner and family.
Stay strong and MOVE forward small steps. :)
Finding that balance is so important isn't it? A lovely positive post... And I LOVE your shoes! :)
ReplyDeleteI too love your shoes to bits - and your positivity, with that you can't fail but to suceed x
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post..... moving forwards in steadiness, being balanced, focusing on what's important. Counselling can be so hopeful with the right therapist. X.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post- and I can relate to it, it is hard finding the balance. I went back to work after Mads was about 11 months, and I enjoyed the time but didn't enjoy the work, I was only working 2.5 days a week but I had to change job role as my old job was too much responsiblity for part time hours. I am now obviously on mat leave again, and this time I am hoping I don't have to go back, BUT I do want to try and work in some capacity, and I need to work too as we need the pennies.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be worried about it when it gets to November sort of time but at the moment I am just burying my head under the sand and pretending that I won't have to soon make a decision.
That's a lovely post. There is no such thing as perfect, but if you can find a balance that works most of the time, the rest can be put down to experience. I'm on the verge of that fall myself right now - I've given myself too much to do - but I've got my own back!
ReplyDeleteVery lovely post. It takes a bit of a plunge going back to work doesn't it? Took me ages to accept it in my head. I went back part time too though and it's worked out well for us. I hope it works out for you too x
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