A mum and a wife and sometimes just me


Sunday 23 June 2013

The positive me


My journey started what now seems like a while ago but yet remains so fresh that I still take each step slowly and don't want to look too far ahead. I catch myself thinking sometimes that maybe I'm being a bit over confident, what if I write something positive and then it all goes down hill again. Anyway here goes.

I'm not sure at what point I decided that I needed to start looking for work again. We decided it was still important that my wee man continued at nursery and he was there for 3 days a week. I always managed to fill my days but it started getting a bit difficult to justify. Obviously financially we were losing out but we tried not to make that put any pressure on any decision that I made. I know I would have never gotten to that point without talking to someone. I had done counselling before though and the whole process of having to think it through myself and not just get the quick fix answer frustrated me. This time though I was in a really scary place and it bubbled up and spurted out and talking helped. It helped me through the muddle and to find some perspective. I never thought I could see any positive in what was happening but counselling helped me to see that I was not failing and giving up. I was struggling and needed a change and needed to move on and I was learning a whole lot about myself. It was okay to take the time to find myself again. 


I'll never find the perfect me but I will settle for the positive. The healthier less negative me. I sometimes still feel overwhelmed and my initial instinct of panic hits me. The place where I am now is that I am able to catch myself before the fall. I know a bit more of what I want and a balance that can make me happy.


I love being a mum. I knew that going back to work had to be part time. I had to find a balance that suited me. The days I have with my wee man are very important to me. I have a job that is 3 days a week and 9 to 5 and I'm not bringing "the baggage" of work home with me. 


So here I am not charging ahead but moving forward and hopefully being continuously positive.



10 comments:

  1. really pleased to hear you're finding a balance and that there's no baggage to bring home. Lovely photos of you and your wee man!

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  2. Lovely post, great to hear you're moving forward

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  3. Lovely post Sabrina, it is always a big relief to find the balance that works for you and trying to keep the negatives at bay can always be a challenge. I know I have days when I have to almost take a step back from myself, if you know what I mean xxx

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  4. Hi popped over after you commented on my post on #countrykids.
    Having children is hard. I had post-natal depression after my second son and it wasn't diagnosed for a year. Medication does help along with support from partner and family.
    Stay strong and MOVE forward small steps. :)

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  5. Finding that balance is so important isn't it? A lovely positive post... And I LOVE your shoes! :)

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  6. I too love your shoes to bits - and your positivity, with that you can't fail but to suceed x

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  7. What a lovely post..... moving forwards in steadiness, being balanced, focusing on what's important. Counselling can be so hopeful with the right therapist. X.

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  8. What a lovely post- and I can relate to it, it is hard finding the balance. I went back to work after Mads was about 11 months, and I enjoyed the time but didn't enjoy the work, I was only working 2.5 days a week but I had to change job role as my old job was too much responsiblity for part time hours. I am now obviously on mat leave again, and this time I am hoping I don't have to go back, BUT I do want to try and work in some capacity, and I need to work too as we need the pennies.

    I am going to be worried about it when it gets to November sort of time but at the moment I am just burying my head under the sand and pretending that I won't have to soon make a decision.

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  9. That's a lovely post. There is no such thing as perfect, but if you can find a balance that works most of the time, the rest can be put down to experience. I'm on the verge of that fall myself right now - I've given myself too much to do - but I've got my own back!

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  10. Very lovely post. It takes a bit of a plunge going back to work doesn't it? Took me ages to accept it in my head. I went back part time too though and it's worked out well for us. I hope it works out for you too x

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