"I want...." My wee man begins most of his sentences these days with "I want". If you are lucky you might get a please at the end. If he does not get what he wants it usually means a complete breakdown in any sort of good behaviour. Increased comprehension has appeared to have brought with it an increase in the pushing of the boundaries. There is this expectation that he will always get his way in the end no matter what. You say no more to something because he is not being very good and well he cries for a bit and tries his luck by asking again for the same said thing you have just taken away. If I am lucky I can just about distract him with something else before we both lose complete control. I ask him to do something and when he says no I do it for him only to be shouted at that he wanted to do it himself. It's not until nap or bedtimes that I realize the emotional weight I've been carrying and I just don't have the energy left to do anything with myself.
Each day I find myself reassessing my parenting skills. I feel like I have tried everything and nothing. I try not to but I wonder what others must be thinking as they listen to my child screaming inconsolably as I tell him that yes it is time to go now. He is yet to win a battle but I have this overwhelming sense that he is still wining the war.
So I have finally discovered the true meaning of unconditional love. I will always have to give him a 100% of me no matter how much of it he throws back at me. It's refraining from saying never again. It's knowing that every day is a new day. Every kiss, and hug, and cuddle is a treasure to me. It's remembering the good times and moving on from the bad. This morning was a difficult morning and he cried his way through to his bedroom for his nap. He wanted me to sit with him. I made him ask me nicely but I sat with him for a bit until he rolled over. Then I kissed him on his forehead and told him I loved him because I love him no matter what.