Coming out of the dark

Bump at 22 weeks 

It's not always easy to get pregnant and many families have different stories to tell about their journey. We had been trying for a long time for number two and sometimes you just can't help but stress and feel disappointed with each month of no success. Makes it worse when you know that is the last thing you should be doing. Then finally I got a belated Christmas present and had a positive result. It wasn't meant to be and at 6 weeks I had a miscarriage.

The past few years have thrown me a lot of curve balls. I have been up and down a crazy emotional rollercoaster. The only thing really to keep me on the rails was talking about it. When times were particularly bad I found counselling was the only way to the other side. Sometimes though it's just speaking with family, friends or just knowing that it's an open conversation out there and you don't have to bury your feelings. Hiding behind any mask is such hard work and only makes you feel worse or even let's you deny any acknowledgement that you need support.

Speaking about my miscarriage validated my feelings and allowed others to understand my grief. I spoke with hubby and shared my tears and found comfort. It actually gave me something I was not expecting hope. There was some light in the darkness. I realised miscarriage is a lot more common than I thought. Often when speaking with other women they knew of someone who had or had experienced one themselves. There was a supportive network out there and I just had to open myself up to it.

Thankfully for me there is a happy ending to my story. I was very nervous at the beginning of this pregnancy and admittedly still am. It will probably follow me all the way through. Every scan, every kick, every heartbeat I hear is a massive comfort.