Monday 18 January 2010
It takes someone special to do what you do?
Does it? I don't know what it is about my job that makes people say that to me? I am not special I just decided to do something different, actually I just kind of started doing it and it's what I know now.
So I really don't want to talk about my work but here I am thinking about it and speedily writing it down before I forget. I work with children with disabilities and have been doing it for quite a long time now where I can claim to be experienced. But what do I really have experience in? I am really not sure if I am any better at doing what I have been doing for so long. It can be the type of job that defines who you are but I have refused to make it do that. It is my job but yes I insist on having a life outside of it. There are days when I actually run away from it as it threatens to come home with me. I actually decided to do a social work degree to give myself some space from it and get some experience in other areas of working with those 'in need', willingly shouting from the rooftops 'NO I DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD' only to find out that is what social work is all about...change. It was not just changing others but changing myself, experiencing myself, getting in touch with who I am that sometimes I got to feel a bit uncomfortable with it all.
I am yet to put my new found self into action and find myself here in Auckland again doing respite work with children with disabilities. My interview went well and I thought maybe too well because they seemed so excited about having me that I might have sold myself too much. I have learnt not to expect huge change and small steps is good. Never expect to hear thank you and a great appreciation for the amount of effort you put into things, and that is not just from the young people by the way. The best feeling is the one I had today which drove me to this ramble. One of the young people was having his dinner and we were chatting and he asked me a question and simply used my name when he addressed me. Yes that's it, I was more than just someone, I was Sabrina.