A mum and a wife and sometimes just me


Sunday, 14 October 2012

What if?

These days I am not very good with What ifs? The what if it was you scenario? When I was doing my social work degree we spoke a lot about empathy towards others/clients/service users. Being able to put yourself in their shoes. It kind of limits any power issues you as a social worker may have. Me? Have power? Actually I did not understand this cold hearted power until I myself felt social worked while I was struggling to be a social worker. (If you really want you can read about it here). As a side note it's crazy how support these days is such a bad word when everyone at some time needs it. We should never be afraid to ask for it, it's just a shame that sometimes we have to fight for it. There are some really amazing social workers out there and it is just a shame that they often get lambasted by the media when often the truth is they don't get the time or resources to do their job properly the way they would like to. But this post is not about social work.

Actually this post has come from trying my best to help someone else. Getting a glimpse of their world and trying so hard not to feel sorry for them. I hated this feeling of powerlessness that I knew I could not change their situation. All I could do was give support in the there and now and well I did that to the best of my ability. It did leave me thinking though, What if I was not there at that time? What would they have done? The answer given to me was "Dear, I am really scared to think about it". This person obviously has some amazing friends which I could thankfully call on to give them the spur of the moment support that they needed. I told her that and she said "Yes good friends, and good acquaintances". I guess that was her way of telling me thanks.

You see I don't think it's ever easy putting yourself in someone's shoes and it usually makes your problems seem incredibly small. In the end though they are my problems and sometimes I struggle with them even though I know that someone is a lot worse off than me. Perspective at these times is very hard to swallow. Don't get me wrong, I care for others and want to give where I can even if these days it's probably just a small drop in the big ocean. There comes a time though when we have to think of ourselves. To help anyone I guess I had to learn to help myself first. 

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